She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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