Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
