didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
