i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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