Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
they're like a gay fantastic four
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
