Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
