Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So squirting runs in the family.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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