On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
not ubering you a puppy
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
