Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
