The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
