Who did Billy Mays play for?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
