Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
and you fell through a lawn chair
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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