Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
