Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
