He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
