On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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