Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
