One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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