Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
