I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
