I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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