I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
