ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
