Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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