smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
