new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I FOUND THE LEGS
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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