I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
