ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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