i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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