Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
