Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
