im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
