That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
