I feel great
I just peed on a car
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
