Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I want to fling myself into the sun
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
