Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
