Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
