you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
