i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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