these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She said her name was "party"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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