I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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