Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
