i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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