Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
