I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
