RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
