The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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