I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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