Sponge bath it is.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
