OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
