I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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