The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
