Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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