I want to make a zoo with you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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