Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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